What is it, like, the tenth time I've been pinched? Do I get a free scoop of ice cream with the punch-card I've been keeping in my wallet?Ha! Just joshing ya. Dandy Aick here, free-form alt comic, sometimes TV and film actor, sexually ambiguous as a sea horse, lover of the liquor and the yip-yip, at your service.
Sure, I've been on the wagon for a bit. I think I was even on Celebrity Rehab or some other TV abortion like that. And I was clean. For a while, at least. Living life one day at a time.
And then I was at a comedy club. Doing my shtick. Lo and behold, a guy and girl approached me -- big fans who just had to be the Dick-meister. And who wants a free drink with his fan? This dude does. So five shots of Kettle One later, I grab his dick and her tit. Seemed like the thing to do. Thing not to do was tell him that her tit was bigger than his dick. Oh, Andy... sometimes you can't let a funny line just go into the ether.
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