Monday, January 25, 2010

Don't Call It A Comeback!

I can feel it. My next big break is right around the corner. Just as soon as I am tried for domestic abuse in the great state of Utah. Yes, I know I was arrested a while ago for trying to run someone over in a bowling ally parking lot who simply wanted my autograph. But look at this face. See it in my eyes. I'm ready, America. I'm ready for my comeback. Gary Coleman is ready to make you laugh, once again...

This is the sort of free publicity my former agent was always telling me about. "Get arrested, make a sex tape, date Heather Graham... all my clients are doing these things and booking gigs!" Well, Heather Graham didn't Facebook me back and I'm not ready for a sex tape just yet, so getting arrested seemed like right thing to do.

So all you casting directors, Gary Coleman, pending me making bail, is available for pilots, guest star roles, feature films, direct to video and stage work. My pager is turned on.


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